This guy. Former Federal Agent Guy. He messaged me and asked if he could call me that day to get to know each other. It was only about 2 weeks after the Nurse Guy breakup. Part of me cringed but the other part of me said “fuck it”, I have to move on with my life. He wanted to talk old school on the phone and sent me his number. I told him if we were really doing old school, he should call me. We talked for an hour and half. He made me laugh. He totally went right in on the failed vasectomy story that resulted in him having a 2 year old! I was dying laughing. Laughter is major points at this point. I had been crying off and on for 2 damn weeks.
I agreed to meet for coffee and games. That sounded like it could be fun. Until the night before our date, he asks me if we can skip my favorite fucking coffee and meet for coffee over a campfire up north with his cool camping gear. What the actual fuck? No dude, I’m not going to meet you in the fucking woods for the first time. In his defense, he did say bring whoever you need to feel comfortable and the more the merrier. Okay listen, let me bring me and my kids or some friends so you can murder me and people I love?! And also how awkward to bring people to a first date/meeting.
I almost canceled the date because of that. I didn’t. I just told him I think he could understand why I wouldn’t do that and let’s just meet for coffee and see how it goes. He was nice. He was slightly surprised or maybe disappointed that I already got my own coffee and brought water out for me but then realized I brought my own water. I really want to let men buy me coffee but I’m also independent and didn’t want to owe this guy anything if you feel me?
We talked for two and a half hours. It wasn’t terrible. He seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. Told me I was refreshing. That my writing I did on my profile was eloquent. That I’m not like a lot of the girls on the site that have a list of requirements and care more about their hair than the date. He said they had a one or two date scenario but by date three or four, it was the same stuff and boring. I told him about the guy that just messaged me “hot” as his introduction…. he said “well, I’m sorry but you are hot”. He told me I was authentic and funny, didn’t believe me when I said I was an extroverted introvert because I’m so easy to talk to. Whatever dude. I know it so that’s all that matters.
The conversation was good and engaging. When he asked to see my pictures for the soul work I do, I opened Facebook to show him and I had a notification from Nurse Guy. He tagged me in some stupid short girl meme that made me giggle out loud. Jackass. It had been 2 weeks and he missed me. He saw a way to knock on my door but not cross my boundary. Resourceful mother fucker, that one. It worked.
Me and Former Federal Agent Guy talked about jobs and life and how I had to push the state so hard to get child support. He asked if he had done anything to make me mad. He meant like he would never want to have me coming after him like I did with the state but I took it literally and said “yeah, the invite to the woods to meet you for the first time”. That’s when I realized he wasn’t really asking LMAO. So this guy takes out his phone and texts me his home address on the spot. Tells me you can search a person but home purchase tells the most about a person. All of this made me laugh hysterically and I legitimately have this dudes home address in my text messages.
I quickly wrapped up the date to get home and swap my pool cleaner thingy and plan my little 1.5 day trip to Sedona to get the fuck out of here and do some damn soul searching.
I reached out to Nurse Guy on that trip. When I got back, I took updated pictures with my friends and put them on Match after crying for two days and finally getting mad. That’s when Nurse Guy pulled me back in. But only for two weeks before telling me he didn’t want the relationship and bringing me my stuff this time.
One friend said he will be back again in two weeks and one friend asked if we are “done done”. I said yes. She asked how did I know that it was really over this time. I said because this time he gave back the garage opener. He kept it last time. I told her I wasn’t even sure what day we broke up because I was the last to know. He also didn’t want to talk about it which was fucking fantastic. I’ve since had the time to tell him what a jackass he has been so I feel a little better about it but this man has done literally nothing (intentionally anyway) to earn this space in my heart and my mind. I’m fucked. I currently need to let this hold over me that he has, go. I think my inner child sees his inner child and cannot walk away for some reason.
You know how else I know I’m fucked? Because I just wrote more about Nurse Guy in Former Federal Agent Guy’s post. See? I’m fucked.
I rejoined Match and have gotten a couple offers to meet for coffee and an offer for breakfast from Airlines Crew Chief Guy that I missed this morning but the offer stands for a reschedule. So maybe there will be an update with him, maybe Pilot Guy or Hair Stylist Guy. Data Analytics Guy asked me if I am looking for long term relationship and marriage on his first text message to me. It looks like I have to start his blog post stat!