This guy. He’s a pilot. He also has an amazing sense of humor. He’s the one that started messaging me by telling me that he liked what I wrote and that I “radiate” something that he likes. I thought that was pretty original. It wasn’t “hey beautiful” or “sexy curves and pictures” or “have you been serenaded by guitar lately?” or “how do I win your love?” For fuck’s sake with some of these dudes.
He paid attention to the things I said. He knew how to engage in conversation (via message and text anyway). We moved to exchanging phone numbers and he joked about the app charging for love.
He joked about my living in Ahwatukee years prior because he lived there at one point years ago, too. I lived there in a place my daughter referred to as the “40 block”, where all the rich kids buy the good drugs and where our house was robbed when we lived there. It was what I referred to as the longest year of my life… waiting for that lease to end after the robbery. I wanted to leave immediately but that guy I was married to wouldn’t do it. Pilot Guy said “the longest year of my life” sounds like it would be the title of my new show. That shit’s funny. I could have a reality TV show of my life…
He remembered that I hated to cook and texted me asking what I DIDN’T cook that night. It was super silly but funny.
I told him a “little tidbit” about me was that I hate flying… he said that was a big tidbit. The whole being a pilot and such. LOL. We chatted a little more over a couple days. Then we stopped texting. A month later he reached out and we texted quite a bit. Same funny stuff. A little more in depth, actually. We talked about dating stuff and chatting with new people in general.
He told me how a lot of girls want a taller man, I think he’s 5’7”. I THINK he was a little bit bitter about this. He told me how these girls send nudes in the middle of conversations, even sharing some samples with me, and I shared some of my stories with him too (snippets of these blog posts, basically). It was fun. Fun… until I told him I had to stop texting and go to bed because I had to be up early to pick up a friend from the airport. He knew it was a man and said he must want “something” from me. Definitely not. He asked how I knew that and I told him because we were married for 17 years, I would know. Also, between you and me, I didn’t think that I should have to explain this to anyone, whatsoever… WTF? He could not for the life of himself understand how I could be giving my ex-husband (who I have known for 20 years, BTW) a ride home from the airport. He then proceeded to enlighten me to the knowledge that anyone I was dating or with, would have a problem with this and that it wasn’t normal. That breakups were supposed to be just that, not friends.
Attention passengers, I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about us being friends. Especially some dude that I have never even met in person, not even once… seriously? Buckle up, bitch… this was, in fact, a crash landing. I haven’t talked to pilot guy since.